Knocked Up
Permalink | Tweet This! | | June 21, 2007 by John in Entertainment
Someone (Gerry?) asked me about the movie “Knocked Up” today. In response I typed out the following brief e-mail screed, which came out better than expected. So here it is, with some minor mods/adds:
The first part of it is funny as hell. The rest is still pretty funny. There are some classic gross out comedic moments but it’s not a one trick pony. The scene where the female lead’s sister finds out why her husband has been “working late” is absofrigginlutely hilarious (and poignant to the state most marriages are in). The ending is a bullshit fairy tale but they don’t hit you over the head with the old saw that your life isn’t complete unless you spawn urchins. It is, however, implied.
I had a good time because I approached the movie as fantasy. There is a certain suspension of disbelief required for those who haven’t bought into the lie. From the chubby schlub tapping that uber-hottie ass (Katherine Heigl is a supremely underrated babe) in the beginning to the semi-syrup ending where they live happily ever after (whoops, did I spoil it for you?), it’s a complete fantasy. Reality is a lot closer to an episode of Jerry Springer.
I was initially encouraged midway through when the main character grows up, gets a job and his own apartment (moves out of the house with his 3 buddies), but then I realized he was doing it for her, not for himself. That’s the wrong message, IMO. Boys these days, and girls for that matter, need to be taught to grow up and make something of themselves FOR themselves and for no one else, not family, not friends and certainly not the person they’re schtupping. Leykis says you shouldn’t get married or have children until you’ve achieved your dreams. He’s right but I’m not sure how that works for slackers who have no dreams to begin with.
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Will the REAL Friar John Please Stand up?
Permalink | Tweet This! | | by John in Humor, Religion
I get e-mails…
Dear John,
Hello! I just wanted to make contact with you and let you know what I am thinking. At first, I was thinking of having you and I team teach Confirmation class and work together on the DRE responsibilities. As time went on, I realized that most of my DRE responsibilities are done on my computer at home. The problem is that you can’t really “participate” in them. So, I was wondering if you would be willing to teach the Confirmation class totally, and I would help if necessary? They will be 5-9th graders and there are approximately 12 of them. The only ones who are disciplinary concerns are the 5th graders. Being the youngest of the group will help that. Most of the children are from very nice, but pagan “Catholic” families. I was also thinking that I could tell you and show you what I do. That will give you a flavor of it. You’ll see every week what I visibly do to.
The first catechists’ meeting will be the first week of August. We’ll have to have it without you. Sorry. When will you be coming into Steubenville and when will you be able to meet with me? What I want to do is e-mail you the schedules and roster and the agenda for the meeting. I don’t think I will work on any of that until the 3rd week of July.
I’ve found that prayer is the most important part.
That’s all.
Thanks,
Martina Erste, St. John Fisher Parish, (Fr. McCoy’s parish)
Sure, sure, let me at the little urchins. I’ll teach them things they’ll never forget. I can’t believe I’ve never googled my nickname before. DUH! Apparently there are REAL Friar John’s out there. While this doesn’t happen often, I do occasionally get e-mails for some other “Friar John,” sent to my gmail account.
Anyway, I sent back a 3 word reply, “I’m an atheist,” which may or may not be true but I thought it was funny. We’ll see if I get a response. Now that I actually read it I should’ve asked for clarification on “Pagan Catholics.” I don’t remember them mentioned in CCD, but they sound like fun.
I should change my tag line above, “Doing the Lord(of Darkness)’s work.” MuwahahahaHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
Quick Triumph Update
Permalink | Tweet This! | | by John in Motorcycle News, My 2002 Triumph Bonneville America
Last night I fired up my bike for the first time since October 30, 2006. I couldn’t tweak the tuning, however, because there’s a massive gas leak coming from under the left carburetor. That will be tonight’s task.
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Next Toy for my Cubicle
Permalink | Tweet This! | | by John in Video Games
McFarlane to Produce ‘Halo 3′ Action Figures
Two powerhouses of pop culture are collaborating, as McFarlane Toys announces a licensing agreement with Microsoft to produce action figures based on the hit video game series Halo®. Halo 3 is scheduled to arrive in stores later this year.
Aaaaaaaaaaaw yeah, boooooy!
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TBA Wiki
Permalink | Tweet This! | | June 20, 2007 by John in Motorcycle News, My 2002 Triumph Bonneville America
And speaking of my motorcycle passion, I decided to set up my own little wikipedia just for my bike: TBA Wiki. There isn’t much there yet, but I’ll be fleshing it out as I have time. I’m sure it will generate not a little controversy at BonnevilleAmerica.com because much of what I plan to post about my bike, for example, the dreaded valve adjustment process that has been plaguing me for months, came from there. However, I plan to only keep information germane to my bike. I don’t intend to start scraping information wholesale off BA.com.
We’ll see how it goes.
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Is this all there is?
Permalink | Tweet This! | | by John in Money, Motorcycle News, Of a Personal Nature, Ranting and Whining, Web Design
Disclaimer: the following is one of my rare pieces of self-serving dreck. Proceed with caution.
Is passion, and it’s cousin idealism, the domain of the young?
If there was something I was passionate about, I would leave Northrop Grumman in a heartbeat. I would sell my house, find new homes for my pets and move if necessary.
I’ve never been afraid to drop everything and change my life. Growing up my family moved around a tiny bit less than your typical military family. In 1988 I could’ve stayed at MSU and finished my graphic design degree, but I chose to drop everything and move to Denver. In 1991, I could’ve continued working as an Asst. Accounting Manager at Meyer Health Care Services, but I chose to drop everything and move to Fort Collins to finish my degree. In 1998 I could’ve continued working at Computer Associates, but I chose to drop everything and move back to Montana to work for BDM. I don’t regret any of the changes; I certainly had some interesting times.
My motives are not entirely clear for all of those choices. I was running from things at least as much as I was running to things. One thing was consistent: a lack of stability and/or security. Until 1998 I was living paycheck to paycheck. I was always looking for the next move to make to kick start my career, or something.
Every child has something they want to be when they grow up. For me it was architecture, but I was disillusioned in college and quit. I went to school for graphic design, but it turns out I hate graphic designers. Arrogant liberal snobs. Luckily the intarweb came along and I fell into web design. I still like web design, which is why I started SSDD, but I wouldn’t say I’m passionate about it. If I was passionate I’d leave the wilds of Montana for someplace like Seattle, Portland or Vancouver and go to work for a web design firm. If I was passionate about it, I’d go somewhere where I could immerse myself in the work, where web designers are rockstars, not afterthoughts.
I do solid work but I lack passion. I think more about my 401k and pension. I’m complacent in the perceived security of my job (which in reality could evaporate in five seconds), even though it gives me little or no satisfaction. That said, there’s no sense leaving if it’s not for something really cool that I do feel passionate about.
The only thing I’m even remotely passionate about is my motorcycle. I can work on it and talk about it for hours on end. The only time I feel alive is when I’m riding. But I can’t make a living doing that.
Oh shit. Is this middle age? Is this my middle age crisis? I hate clichés! Dammit! Snap out of it Bedard!
Comments are welcome but I will shoot the first person who says that what’s lacking in my life is a wife and a bunch of crumb gobblers.
Apparently I need to move to the East Coast
Permalink | Tweet This! | | June 19, 2007 by John in Humor, Interesting/Trivia
Thoughts on dots and relationships
I wonder if they count single mothers the same as single women. Separating that out could skew the graphic a bit. I know Montana would have a lot of single mother dots…
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No, We Can’t Just Get Along
Permalink | Tweet This! | | by John in Religion
Muslim world inflamed by Rushdie knighthood
Sir Salman Rushdie celebrates his 60th birthday today in familiar circumstances: he is once again the subject of death threats across the Islamic world.
Eighteen years after the Ayatollah Khomeini issued a fatwa calling on Muslims to kill him, a government minister in Pakistan said yesterday that Rushdie’s recent knighthood justified suicide bombing.
The question of blasphemy in The Satanic Verses, Rushdie’s 1988 tale of a prophet misled by the devil, remains a deeply sensitive issue in much of the Muslim world and the author’s inclusion in the Queen’s Birthday Honours last week has inflamed anti-British sentiment.
Gerald Butt, editor of the authoritative Middle East Economic Survey, told The Times: “It will be interpreted as an action calculated to goad Muslims at a time when the atmosphere is already very tense and Britain’s standing in the region is very low because of its involvement in Iraq and its lack of action in tackling the Palestine issue.”
I would give up my gas-powered cars, get a bio-diesel-powered VW Jetta and/or pickup, and pay $10 a gallon for gas for my motorcycle (and mustang, when it’s fixed) if they would just nuke the crap out of the middle east. I’m willing to sacrifice to rid the world of radical muslims. People say “genocide” like it’s a bad thing. It’s really only bad when you’re referring to jews or blacks.
I’m kidding, of course.
What I’m not kidding about is removing anyone from the planet who kills/maims someone over their collective mass delusions based on ancient mythology. You are no longer human and you forfeit any right to draw breath. It’s not about deterrence. It’s about reducing the number of homicidal maniacs running around.
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Furniture Fire Sofa King Horrible
Permalink | Tweet This! | | by John in Humor, In the News
S.C. Warehouse Fire Kills 9 Firefighters
“Nine brave, heroic, courageous firefighters of the city of Charleston have perished fighting fire in a most courageous and fearless manner, carrying out their duties,” Charleston Mayor Joseph P. Riley said at a morning news conference. “To all of their loved ones, our heart goes out to them.”
Too soon?
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And on the subject of weight
Permalink | Tweet This! | | June 12, 2007 by John in Entertainment, Health-Medical
I’ve been watching “Big Medicine” on the TLC. A few things stick in my mind:
- If the 1000 pound guy can lose almost half his weight, gastric bypass surgery and personal trainer notwithstanding, I should be able to lose 50 pounds
- Some of the people on there are no where as big as me but still opt for gastric bypass
- The tons of skin left over after dramatic weight loss is gross. When you sign up for gastric bypass or lap band surgery, chances are you are also signing up for plastic surgery later.
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